Between The Pain And The Fury
A Laramie story by Tony G
Chapter One : The Pain
Jess Harper stood motionless as he looked down towards the ground. He struggled to believe that he was stood here staring at a dream in ashes. He felt numb yet the hurt was unbearable, and he clenched his fists as he fought back the tears that he could feel welling up inside him. Rain fell around him soaking his coat and the wind blew cold across his face, yet he felt none of it.
He whispered silent words to himself. Words that placed blame on his own shoulders and that punished him relentlessly. " I let you down and I'm responsible for this. I can never put this right, I shouldn't have left you and I am sorry".
The words echoed in his head. "I let you down and I'm responsible for this. I can never put this right, I shouldn't have left you and I am sorry". I let you down and I'm responsible for this. I can never put this right, I shouldn't have left you and I am sorry". Over and over the words felt like punches in his guts, relentless, never ending. What he deserved.
His head raised a little from the ground, he looked at the marker and read the inscription. Words he never dreamed he would read and his thoughts trailed back to that day in the church.
"You may now kiss the bride" bellowed the preacher. "Well what you waitin for son - you want me to do it for you?"
The congregation laughed and Jess looked a little embarrassed as he leant forward to place a kiss on Annie's lips. Everyone cheered and all of a sudden Jess and Annie were surrounded by people wanting to shake hands and also kiss the bride. In fact Slim Sherman was front of the queue.
"Don't mind do you Jess?" said Slim as he pushed Jess playfully to one side and kissed his bride.
"Not at all Pard" replied Jess. "After kissin you Annie will never complain about my kissin".
"Don't you be too sure Jess Harper" joked Annie with the mischievous look in her eye that had captivated Jess when he first met her.
"Well folks, if you'd care to go across to the hotel there's some food and drinks all set up and maybe even a little dancin" shouted the preacher, and the folks did not need telling twice.
"Come on Pard" said Slim, lets get to the hotel before all of Daisy's cooking gets eaten. You know what Mike and Mort are like !"
Daisy was still wiping tears from her eyes but she laughed at Slim's comment. She knew that from now on Annie would do Jess' cooking. She reached into her bag and walked to Annie.
"I want you to have something" she said giving Annie a gold brooch. "My Father had it made especially for my Mother and I would like you to have it Annie. It's one of a kind". It was a beautiful brooch, oval shaped and inlaid with small pearls.
"Oh Mrs Cooper I couldn't".
"Hush now. Jess is like a son to me and I want you to be like a daughter, so please take it. Just take care of it, and take care of Jess".
Jess continued to look at the marker, continued to read the words. He remembered how wonderful it had been marrying Annie and how much he had loved her. Now the dream was over and all that was left was this grave and the burnt out ruins of their home. A home that he had built with Slim's help. A home on a part of the Sherman property that Slim had given to them as a wedding present. His own land, his own home.
It was getting harder to fight back the tears. Four years earlier he had been nothing but a saddle tramp living off his wits and his gun. Slim Sherman and his family changed that and he learnt what it was like to belong, for the first time since he had lost his own family as a boy. In that four years he suffered new kinds of sorrow. How he felt when Jonesy died was like losing a father. When young Andy Sherman was murdered by Bud Carlin's brother, it was like losing his own brother. Now he knew what it was like to bury a wife and he had never felt pain like it.
As he stood in the rain he started to feel anger and rage. He looked up at the heavens and screamed "Why her, why her. She was only 23, why her". He could hold back the tears no longer and his body folded as he collapsed to his knees in the mud. Still screaming he cried " We only had four days. Most people get a life but you only gave us four days". His voice trailed back into a whisper. "Why?" But he got no reply, had God even heard him.
Jess got back up to his feet and took deep breaths while trying to regain his self control. He looked again at the grave and spoke quietly. " I have to leave now Annie. I don't know if I can come back. I will always love you but I cannot look at your grave every day remembering that it is my fault you are here. So I have to leave. I love you Annie".
Jess turned and walked back down the hill towards the ranch. Annie was buried in the same plot as Slim's parents and his brother Andy. Jess appreciated that. He knew that he and Slim were family to each other, so Annie was in her rightful place, a place where she would be cared for.
Slim and Daisy had watched Jess up on the hill. They had heard his screams and Daisy had wept openly as she endured Jess' pain. He was like a son to her and she could not bear to see what was happening. Slim too had wept but on the inside, he had to be strong for them all.
Jess entered the ranch, he was soaking wet.
"You should get out of those wet cloths" said Daisy.
" I will" replied Jess very quietly as he disappeared into the bedroom. Fact was he had no other cloths to get into. They had all been lost in the fire. Jess sat on his old bed, his body bent forward and his head in his hands. His jaw tightened as his thoughts went back to that fateful day. The day he lost Annie.
He had just finished lunch and had decided to fix up a small corral for a couple of horses.
"Annie, I need to get some tools so I'm gonna ride over to Slim's place. You wanna come, see Daisy and Mike?"
"No, you go ahead. I've got plenty to do here, just give them my love and tell them I'll see them soon".
As Jess was leaving Annie came running out of their small house and said "Jess Harper, where do you think you are going without giving me a kiss?"
Jess got back off his horse and gave Annie a long lingering kiss on the lips. He was starting to have second thoughts about going and she could read that in his eyes. "Go on with you" she said knowing that she was also starting to weaken. " We can finish this when you get back".
They never did get to finish it.
Jess sat there on the bed thinking "I stayed too long. I should have picked up the tools and gone back then she would have been alright. But I didn't, I stayed too long".
His thoughts strayed off once again. He started thinking how he sat on the front porch with Slim, Daisy and Mike. He remembered how Mike had seen the smoke in the distance and how the horror hit him as he realized the fire was coming from his house. He remembered the frantic ride back only to find his new home engulfed in flames and no sign of Annie. He remembered fighting with Slim as Slim stopped him when he tried to enter the burning house. He remembered screaming her name.
Slim entered the bedroom and looked at Jess.
"Is there anything I can do to help you. You know I will if you say so".
Jess shook his head. "I need some time Slim. I need to get away for a while".
"Are you sure it wouldn't be better to be with people who care for you right now".
"I'm not sure of anything anymore Slim, except that I need to work this guilt out and the only way I can do that is to be on my own for a while".
"When are you leaving?" Slim could hardly bear the words.
"First thing in the morning I guess is as good a time as any. Give me time to say goodbye to Daisy and Mike".
"Goodbye?" enquired Slim.
"You know what I mean".
That evening Jess spent time explaining to Daisy and Mike what he intended to do. Mike looked at him sadly and said "You are coming back aren't you Jess?"
"Sure Tiger. You are my family and I'm coming back. I just need to be alone for a while". He wasn't convincing.
The next morning Jess said his goodbyes. Daisy had packed him some food and Slim had given him some money to tide him over. Jess tried to refuse but Slim insisted.
"Let me at least do this for you" he said.
Jess kissed Daisy and Mike and shook hands with Slim. He turned to get onto his horse when Slim stopped him.
"I know you might not ever come back Jess. But at least let us know where you are and how you are. At least do that and remember there are people here who love and care for you. Never forget that".
Jess smiled and nodded. "I will. And I won't forget any of you, I promise you that. Sometime in the future will you explain to Mike".
"I'll try but it's kinda hard when I'm not sure I understand myself".
"So long Slim".
Slim bit his lip and nodded his farewell and Jess Harper was gone.
Chapter Two : Burden Of Guilt
Jess wasn't sure where he was going to go. He thought maybe he would take one last look at the house before he finally left. He didn't know why, he only felt he would regret it if he did not go back one last time. When he got there he walked among the ruins. He wanted to see if anything was left that could be salvaged, any morsel of a memory that he could keep. But they had nothing, only their love and Jess knew that it had not perished in the fire. Then he thought about the brooch that Daisy had given to Annie. He walked to where the bedroom used to be and searched through the charred wood and remains but could find no sign of it. It was the only thing of value they possessed and he would have liked to have sent it back to Daisy. It had meant a lot to her. But he was not surprised when he did not find it, how could anything have survived that inferno.
He decided not to hang around any longer. Wherever he was going he wanted to put some miles between him and this place. He mounted his horse rode away and didn't look back.
For no reason other than it seemed as good a way as any Jess headed north. He stayed on the main trail leading towards Laramie, it occurred to him that he might just drop by and say so long to Mort Corey. He had known Mort for nearly three years and Mort was the only lawman he had ever really been friends with. After doing that he felt that he would have said goodbye to all the people that mattered to him, then he was free to move on to whatever life held in store for him. He thought that it was funny that it had taken just over four years for his life to go full circle from drifter with no family, to ranch hand with a family then back to drifter again. There was one difference this time though, he was now a drifter with a family for he would never forget Slim Daisy and Mike. "Hell Harper", he thought to himself, "Why are you leaving these people. They are the only people that you care about in the whole wide world". He didn't have the answer to this question. He only knew he needed to be alone to work this damn feeling of guilt out of his system.
"Where will you go?" asked a concerned Mort Corey.
"Not sure, this place, that place, I don't really know right now. Just know I have to go".
"We're gonna miss you Jess, but you don't need me to tell you that".
Jess tried to force a smile and though he didn't succeed he did appreciate Mort's words.
"I don't suppose you found out anymore about how the fire started did you?"
"It was just a plain accident Jess. It wasn't your fault".
"No?"
"No" said Mort firmly. "It just happened Jess, somehow you got to accept that".
"What was she doing to cause it. It was broad daylight, she sure didn't need a lamp".
"Look Jess it could have been a dozen things, a hot coal, maybe the stove. Fact is we'll never really know for sure. But blaming yourself won't bring her back".
"Reckon not. Well I better get moving before it gets dark. I'll see yer Mort".
"Hope so Jess, good luck".
Jess carried on northwards out of town after picking up a bottle from the saloon. He figured it would help keep out the cold and maybe make the difference between getting a good night's sleep or not.
He set up camp about seven o'clock. After lighting a fire he tucked into his evening meal of whiskey. By nine o'clock he was out cold. He was lucky that the night was dry and not too cold or it might have been worse for him. As it was he woke up with a head like thunder and a mouth like leather. But at least he had slept and in sleep had escaped the gnawing pangs of guilt and the emptiness that had haunted him since Annie's death. Breakfast was the remains of the bottle.
About noon he arrived at a town called Marlow. Not much of a place he thought but it had a saloon and right now that met all his needs. He tied his horse outside the Palace and went in. It was a pretty lively place but it quietened down when Jess entered. Maybe strangers were not welcome here, not that Jess cared, he was in no mood to care.
"You alright mister?" asked the Barman.
Jess ignored the question. "Whiskey" he said. The barman obliged.
Jess looked at the mirror behind the bar and realised why people had stared at him. He looked like a man down on his luck, unshaven and disheveled. No wonder people stared. He paid for his drink, picked up the bottle and made his way to a quiet table in the corner. By now everyone had gone back to doing what they were doing before he arrived and he felt he could get his drink in peace.
A saloon girl who had been watching him slowly walked over to his table.
"Want some company cowboy?" she asked.
Jess looked up and whispered "Not right now, I just want a quiet drink".
"You look like you been on the trail for some time cowboy. You sure you don't want a little company, maybe buy me a drink".
Jess looked over at the barman. He threw some money at the bar. "Go get your drink lady, just leave me alone".
"No need for that cowboy, I only wanted to get friendly" and she turned and walked away in disgust.
Jess carried on quietly drinking, he was getting through too much whiskey and the world was starting to look a bit hazy. He felt his eyes starting to close and his head started to droop towards the table. He shook his head to bring himself back to life and staggered to his feet. Picking up the bottle he started for the door but whiskey and an empty stomach are not the best of combinations, and his senses were not fully functioning as he staggered through the room. Once the fresh air hit him his senses collapsed altogether and he nearly fell headlong into the street. Luckily a cowboy who had followed him out of the saloon caught him.
"Woa there feller, you look like you need a hand".
Jess felt himself being marched towards the alley by the cowboy and although what was left of his senses told him not to go into the alley with this man he was powerless to resist.
Once in the alley and out of sight the cowboy threw Jess to the floor. He started going through Jess' pockets and Jess could not keep him off.
"Well what have we here" said the cowboy as he found the money that Slim had given to Jess. The cowboy stood up grinning. "Your Mammy never tell you that drinkin was bad for you boy" he said and laughing he turned and left Jess laying in the dirt.
Chapter Three : Deeper In Hell
When Jess finally woke up he didn't know where he was. Again his head pounded and his vision was blurred. He groaned.
"So you're back with us eh" said the sheriff.
Jess looked through the bars of the cell he was in. "What am I doing in here?"
"Unconscious in the street, drunk and no money adds up to vagrancy in this town and vagrancy is a crime. Not a serious one but enough to get you a night in the cell and that's what you had". The sheriff walked over to the cell, unlocked the door and invited Jess to leave.
"How long have I been out?"
"About fifteen hours. Slept like a baby cept every now and then you called some females name. Well let me tell you son there ain't a woman in the world worth gettin into that state fer".
Jess ignored the comment. "Can I have my gun?"
"Sure. It ain't loaded and you ain't gonna load it till you get outta town. Oh and you're leavin town now !"
Suddenly Jess remembered the man in the alley. He grabbed for his shirt pocket and sure enough the money was gone.
"I've been robbed sheriff and I ain't leavin till I get my money back".
"A man like you can't have had much money so it'll be no great loss. Do yourself a favour son and leave town. Forget the money, just leave".
Jess actually had about one hundred and fifty dollars, but he didn't think the sheriff would believe that so he didn't think it was worth mentioning. "If I don't?" Jess' voice took on a menacing tone.
"You'll go straight back into that cell".
Jess felt the pain in his head as it continued to throb and he knew he was in no state to argue so he turned and walked out of the sheriff's office. The sheriff followed.
"Your horse is at the livery stable, tell them to charge it to the town".
Jess collected his horse and headed on out of Marlow. It had been a long time since he had been run out of town by a sheriff. Suddenly he turned his horse around and headed back into town. The sheriff had gone back into his office so with the coast clear Jess made for the saloon. He was starting to feel a bit better and his thoughts were getting clearer. He felt very uncomfortable, he had not washed or shaved for two days. Once inside the Palace he figured he could try and find out more about the man who robbed him. He approached the bar and the barman looked apprehensive.
"You remember me?" said Jess in a low firm tone.
"Sure" replied the barman, "you were in her yesterday. Say weren't you the the feller that got robbed?"
"Did you see who followed me outta here?"
"Mr I saw nothin. I'm not paid to see things, I just serve liquor. And that's all I do exceptin mindin my own business".
Jess reached across the bar, grabbed the barman's shirt and pulled him over the bar.
"I've had a real bad couple of days and I'm not in the mood for games. Now I want a name and you're going to give it to me".
Suddenly Jess felt a sharp pain at the back of his head and everything went black.
When he woke up he was back behind bars. The sheriff looked down on him as he lay on the bed.
"You'll live - this time. I thought I told you to git".
"You hit me?"
"Yes and I'll hit you again if you disobey me. You understand that?"
"I went back to find out who robbed me. If you did your job I wouldn't have needed to".
"I told you you'd go straight back to jail if you hung around. Now do you want to spend more time in there?"
Jess didn't reply.
"Thought not", barked the sheriff. "You got one more chance, you'd better take it - and leave".
"What are you scared of sheriff?"
"You, I'm scared of you. I run a nice peaceful town here and you're trouble. You're nothing but a saddle tramp. You been in town less than a day and there's trouble. Before long you'd wind up killin someone or gettin killed yourself. So I want you gone. Is that clear enough for you?"
The sheriff opened the cell door and for the second time Jess Harper walked through it.
"Don't tell me sheriff, my horse is at the livery stable".
Jess picked up his gun and left the sheriff's office. To the sheriff's amazement he walked not towards the livery stable but back towards the saloon.
"I don't believe it" muttered the sheriff.
Jess walked back to the bar and the barman froze.
"Don't want any trouble Mr", stammered the barman.
"Nor do I. Just a drink".
The barman poured him a whiskey and Jess paid him with what little money he had left. He picked up the bottle and headed back to the seat he had occupied the day before. He looked up in time to see the sheriff come bursting through the saloon doors. The sheriff looked around the room and saw Jess sitting in the corner. He stormed over.
"Stand up", ordered the sheriff.
"Look sheriff, I haven't broken any laws and I just want a quiet drink. I swear there'll be less trouble if you just leave me alone, then when I've finished my drink I'll leave this stinkin town".
"One hour then you be gone" snarled the sheriff.
Jess didn't need an hour. he sat there for about twenty minutes then decided to hit the trail. He corked what was left of his whiskey and went to get his horse. It occurred to him that he hadn't thought about Annie for almost half a day. So the whiskey was working, and with just a little bit of luck he would have enough left in the bottle to give him a good night's sleep.
He didn't travel far, only five or six miles before stopping to set up camp. He really felt like a man alone now. His friends were far behind him and he was back on the open road. He thought about which way he would head tomorrow, then again did it matter, without Annie did it matter. As he sat by his campfire the guilt came flooding back, if only he had not left her. There were so many unanswered questions. What caused the fire, why hadn't she got out? So many questions but no answers. He took a long drink and another. The pain and the guilt and the questions started to fade away.
The next morning when he woke up he felt like he hadn't eaten for a week. In fact it was almost two days since food had passed his lips. "I gotta sort myself out", he mumbled to himself. "Start with some food". He stood up and his head felt like thunder. His eyes squinted against the morning sun and he walked across to get his rifle from his horse. He looked at Hooter his horse. "Poor devil, I didn't take your saddle off last night" he said then laughed." Talkin to my horse now". He set off to look for some game to shoot for breakfast.
He had an unsuccessful attempt at shooting his breakfast. His head still ached and he just couldn't concentrate enough to hit what he was aiming at, so a couple of fortunate rabbits lived longer. Finally he accepted his breakfast would be berries and nothing more. After breakfast he broke camp and after mounting his horse he realised that he had no idea which way he wanted to go. He felt lost. Now he had nothing, no home, no wife, no friends and no future. All he had was the terrible guilt, but at least he knew how to deal with that - whiskey. Well that answered the question about where he should go, he was going to the nearest saloon and that was back in Marlow. Back to the friendly town sheriff !
Just as Jess turned Hooter to go back to Marlow he heard a voice behind him.
"What do you think you're doing on Trask land" rasped the voice.
Jess turned and faced down the barrel of a winchester. He was starting to get sick of being on the wrong end of trouble.
"You point that thing at me any longer and you're gonna eat it", replied Jess in a manner that left the cowboy in no doubt that he meant every word.
"Big words for a man on the wrong side of this here rifle. Now I'll ask you just once more saddle tramp, what you doing on Trask land, and what were those shots I heard?"
Jess was also getting sick of being called a saddle tramp. He dismounted and walked towards the cowboy.
"That's far enough Mr", said the cowboy his voice starting to shake. Jess kept coming.
" Either use that thing or put it down", snarled Jess as he reached where the cowboy was standing and grabbed the gun out of his hand. This reminded Jess of the first time he met Slim, and he wished Slim was here now. Slim always knew what to do and right now Jess wasn't sure. He smashed the rifle on a rock and threw it back at the cowboy.
"Those shots you heard were just me trying to get a rabbit for breakfast, that's all. Now you go tell Mr Trask that I'm leaving Trask land right now, and I didn't do any damage to his precious property. I didn't even manage to kill a rabbit.
"Yes sir", said the cowboy looking at his wrecked rifle, "I'll do that", and he turned and ran.
Chapter Four : The Lowest Point
It was getting on for 10.00 am when Jess got back into Marlow. He wasn't too sure how he was going to pay for the whiskey he wanted so desperately, but he was sure he would get it one way or another. By now he was looking just like the tramp that everyone said he was. He hadn't washed or shaved for three days, his cloths were dirty from sleeping in the dust and his eyes were red and swollen from the whiskey soaked sleep he had endured. He was shaking with hunger and his head still ached. He figured the day could only get better. He was wrong !
He trod the now familiar boards back into the Palace saloon and followed the usual track to the bar.
"You again" said the barman. "Don't you ever learn?"
"Listen I just need a bottle and I'll get outta here, you won't see me again. Thing is though I got no money".
"Then Mr you ain't gettin any bottle".
"Please, I'm not here to make trouble. Maybe I could work for the bottle". Jess started to realise how low he had sunk and felt powerless to stop the fall. "Maybe I could clean up for you. That would pay for it wouldn't it?"
"Get outta here you bum before I get the sheriff to lock you up and throw away the key", replied the barman who was starting to feel really brave seeing the state that Jess was in.
"Oh Charlie give the cowboy a drink".
Jess turned to see who had said those words and he saw the saloon girl who he had been very rude to on his first day in town.
"Like hell I will Maddie. This guy almost broke my ribs when he pulled me over the bar, I'm not about to do him any favours".
"Give him a drink Charlie or I'll pull you over the bar and I will do some real damage".
Charlie looked at Jess then back at Maddie. "One drink then beat it", he said begrudgingly pouring Jess a whiskey.
Maddie walked over to Jess, picked up the bottle and said "Come on cowboy, sit with me. You can tell me your troubles".
Jess followed Maddie to a table. She was a nice looking girl, two or three inches shorter than Jess and with very long dark hair that hung over the front of her shoulders.
"Ma'am you don't want to hear my troubles", said Jess, "but I would like to thank you for this drink".
"Don't mention it cowboy. I can't keep calling you cowboy, what's your name?"
"Jess Harper Ma'am".
"Well Jess Harper you look like hell. When I look at you I see a man who has not been like this long. I mean you own a horse, an expensive looking gun belt, reasonable cloths and you had money cos you had nearly one hundred and fifty dollars stolen from you. So why are you like this".
"It's a long story Ma'am"
"Call me Maddie, and I got plenty of time."
"I don't really want to talk about it anyway, it's kinda private. I would like another drink though".
Just then the party ended. The sheriff approached the table. "You just never learn do you boy".
Jess stood up and turned to face the sheriff just as the sheriff swung the butt of the rifle up to Jess' jaw. Jess flew backwards as the rifle connected. He had always been an instinctive fighter and luckily for him the instinct remained despite his current condition. He managed to ride most of the blow which probably saved him from a broken jaw, but the impact was still enough to put him on his back. The sheriff reached down and took his gun, then he pulled Jess to his feet and pushed him towards the saloon doors. Maddie jumped to Jess' defence but the sheriff pushed her away. He was a strong man. As Maddie fell back the hair that had been covering her shoulders fell away and Jess saw the brooch on her dress. Daisy's brooch. The one that she had given to Annie on their wedding day. But how could that be. He was confused. There must be two of them. No wait Daisy said it was "One of a kind". His head was spinning, it ached from the whiskey and it ached from the blow from the rifle. But he had to look at the brooch. He staggered towards Maddie. and felt the sheriff grab his arm. Everything was moving in slow motion as he turned to the sheriff and threw a wide right hand at the sheriff's face. Jess was in no shape to fight and the sheriff ducked. As he came up he landed a vicious blow to Jess' stomach followed by an lopping left to the side of his face. Jess went down like a pole axed animal, cold before he hit the floor. The sheriff turned to some men in the bar.
"Give me a lift with piece of garbage boys", he said calmly.
Jess woke up for a third time in the town jail. His whole body hurt. He lay on the bed trying to remember what had happened, but it was all a blur. Slowly he started to piece it all together. The brooch. How did Maddie get that brooch? He tried to think straight but it was slow to happen. Then all of a sudden another thought came to him. How did she know how much money he had lost. He never told anyone, not even the sheriff. He jumped up from the bed, and his head stared to spin, He had to sit again before he fell.
"So you're awake are you. This is gettin to be a habit son and I'm mighty sick of it".
"Listen sheriff, that girl I was talkin to when you came in".
"Maddie, what about her?"
"She knew how much money was stolen from me".
"So".
"Sheriff, I never told anyone not even you. So how did she know?"
"Listen you bum, you been so drunk half the time you don't know what you've told folks. So don't go stirrin up trouble for Maddie just cos you're sore at your own stupidity".
"What about the brooch?"
"What brooch?"
"She was wearin a brooch that belonged to my wife before she died". As soon as Jess had spoken these words they hit him like a kick in the guts. He had been able to forget a little of the pain but his own words brought it all flooding back.
"You're determined to cause trouble aint you. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with you. But I know one thing, the next time you leave town you are not coming back".
"Talk to the girl sheriff. Ask her where she got the brooch and how she knew how much money was stolen from me. Just talk to her".
The sheriff looked hard at Jess. " I'll be back shortly. If you try to leave here so help me I'll shoot you on sight".
Over at the saloon the sheriff sat with Maddie. He told her what Jess had said and asked her to explain.
"Oh Pat", she said "he told me how much money had been taken from him, and this brooch, well it's been in my family for years. It belonged to my Mama. The cowboy is all turned around, he just doesn't know what he is saying".
"That's what I think too Maddie. You know I kinda feel sorry for him. I don't know what kind of hell he is livin in but he's sure on a road of self destruction. Trouble is every time I let him go he comes back, and I can't keep him in jail because he hasn't broken any law. I'm scared he's gonna force me to kill him".
"Why don't you deputise a couple of the regulars to escort him out of town. Maybe take him fifteen to twenty miles away and that way he might just think it ain't worth comin back".
"Good idea Maddie, I'll get Cole and Simms to do it. They're always on the look for a little work".
The sheriff left the saloon and Maddie noticed Charlie was lookin at her. He had been listening to her conversation with the sheriff.
"That's what I like to see Maddie", he said "a good faithful girl. Graig is gonna be mighty grateful to you when he hears how you protected him from the sheriff".
Maddie glared at Charlie but did not reply.
When the sheriff arrived back at the jail he had two men with him. He unlocked the cell door and told Jess to come out. He gave Jess' gun and belt to Simms.
"These men are going to escort you out of town. You give em any trouble they'll shoot you. You come back I'll shoot you". That was all he said.
At the end of the day Jess Harper and the town of Marlow were about twenty miles apart. Simms threw Jess' gun to the floor and left Jess with the words, " Remember what Sheriff Duggan said, come back to Marlow and you're a dead man". Jess bent to pick up his gun and Simms hit him full on the head with the butt of his pistol. Once again Jess was asleep in the dirt.
When he awoke he was in a strange bed. There was a cold compress on his head and he could hear people talking.
"Hello", he called.
The door opened and an elderly man stood in the doorway. He was a big man and he filled the frame.
"Well it's good to see you awake. Fer awhile we weren't sure if you would wake up at all".
"How did I get here?" asked Jess.
"Oh I found you on the trail. You was hurt so I brung you back here. My Bessie, she's the best nurse north of the border so if anyone could help you she could".
"Well I'm grateful but I gotta get outta here".
"You're not going anywhere just yet young man", said a kind voice from the other room.
"That's Bessie", said the old man, "It don't pay to argue with her son so if I was you I'd stay put".
With that a little old lady entered the room. She was a little plump and her hair was white. She was carrying a bowl with steaming liquid in it. She sat beside the bed.
"You need some good nourishing food so I made you this broth and you are going to eat every drop, do you understand?"
"Yes Ma'am", said Jess thinking how much like Daisy Cooper this woman was. He still felt the need to try to get up, he wanted desperately to talk to Maddie, but he knew he was in no shape to stand let alone ride twenty miles. So he ate the broth and settled back down to sleep in the comfort of clean sheets and a warm bed.
He stayed for three days at this place. He learned that the couple were called John and Bessie Frampton. They had live here for thirty years and had a little ranch that they had worked all that time. The used to have two sons, but both were dead. One killed by Indians and one during the war. They handled their loss with dignity, but told Jess that the hurt never really went away, but it did get bearable. Jess told them his story and as he told them about Annie and the guilt he felt over her death he started to feel like a huge burden was being lifted. He felt good at being with decent people again in a family home. He knew he was missing Slim, Daisy and Mike and he wanted to go home. But first there was something he had to do, and he had to do it alone. He knew that he had touched rock bottom and it was time to get up.
On the fourth day he left the Framptons and started the ride back to Marlow.
Chapter Five : The Fury
At the end of the day he was camped outside Marlow. Bessie had made him some food and this time he didn't need whiskey. Instead he ate the sandwiches she had made him and drank water and coffee. He felt an urge to get on his horse and ride into Marlow right now, but at last he was thinking clearly and he knew he would be better to have some sleep first. He would go in at dawn's first light.
He was up early and was in town before the townsfolk were awake. He moved quietly round to the back of the saloon and forced his way in through a window. Now he would wait for Maddie to arrive. He hid in a storeroom and after a couple of hours his waiting was over. Maddie came down the saloon stairs. Jess didn't know it but she lived upstairs. When she came downstairs she was alone but she was immediately followed by a young man.
"Time for one more kiss darlin?", asked the young man.
"Come on Craig you best get outta here before Charlie wakes up".
"I'm not worried about Charlie, I'm more worried about gettin that kiss".
"You will be worried if Charlie tells your Ma that you spent the night here. The Trask family sure don't want their boy seeing a common saloon girl".
"Don't say that", Craig sounded angry. "I've told you as soon as I can get some money together we'll leave here. We'll be together I promise you".
"And how do you propose to get more money. You gonna rob every cowboy that comes through here. And that reminds me where did you get the money to buy that brooch?"
Jess was bursting now. His gun was in his hand and he was ready to face them. But he stopped when he heard Charlie's voice.
"Well well Mr Trask. Did you just arrive or are you just leaving?"
"Go back to bed Charlie before I shoot you".
"I will, but first why don't you tell Maddie how you got the brooch".
"Shut it Charlie before I shut it for you".
Charlie just laughed and went back into his room.
"You better go", said Maddie. "Come by tonight".
Craig left and Maddie went back up to her room. Jess came out of the storeroom and made his way quietly to Charlie's room. The door was unlocked and Jess went in. Charlie looked scared when he saw Jess in the doorway.
"One word and I'll kill you", rasped Jess. "I heard your little conversation on the stairs and I want some answers. How did Trask get that brooch?"
Charlie was silent, he didn't know what to say. Finally he spoke. "Look I don't know anything and if I did I couldn't tell you. The Trask's would kill me".
"They might, but at least you'd stand a chance of running. Right now you got no chance cos if you don't answer my question I'll kill you".
"You wouldn't", stammered Charlie.
Jess ripped back the hammer of his gun and shoved the barrel in Charlie's face. "Tell me", he demanded.
"Him and a few of the Trask ranch hands took some cattle to Laramie. He got it there. He told Maddie he bought it but he didn't. One of the ranch hands said they took it off a woman".
"How?"
"I don't know any more honestly, I just know they stole it".
"What was the name of the man who told you this?"
"I can't they'll kill me, please Mr".
But there was no mercy left in Jess and he hit Charlie in the mouth.
"Talk before I beat it outta you".
"Ward, his name is Ward. He works on the Trask ranch".
"You tell anybody about this conversation and I'll come back for you. You understand?"
Charlie nodded.
Jess left the saloon the way he had come in, through the back window and was soon on his way to the Trask ranch.
He wasn't sure how he was going to handle this, he knew there would be a lot of ranch hands and other people around. But come hell or high water he was going to find out what happened to Annie, even if he died in the attempt. He rode straight up to the ranch house and dismounted. A tall man with a rifle approached him.
"Can I help you stranger?" asked the man.
"Maybe, I'm looking for a man named Ward".
"What do you want with him?"
Jess walked towards the rifleman and said "He told me if I needed a job to look him up. He might be able to help me, and right now I need a job".
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, so do you know him?"
The rifleman lifted the rifle to point it at Jess. As it was coming up Jess grabbed the barrel and pushed the butt of the gun into the man's guts, then he pulled the gun out of the big man's hands.
Shoving the point of the gun into the man's face Jess asked again, "Do you know him?"
"Yeah, I'm Ward and I never promised you nothin in my life. So what do you want?"
People started gathering round and Jess knew time was running out.
"What on earth's going on?" boomed a voice. It was Harriette Trask the ranch owner. "I won't ask again".
Jess looked at Ward. "Get up", he said dragging him up by the shirt. Keeping the gun on Ward he turned to face Harriette Trask. "Who are you?", he demanded.
"I own this here ranch and this man works for me, so would you mind telling me what is going on".
Jess had to think quick. "My names Harper Ma'am, I'm a U S Marshall and this man is wanted on suspicion of robbery in Laramie a couple of weeks ago. I aim to take him back there".
Harriette Trask looked at Ward. "This true Ben?" she asked.
"No Mrs Trask I never robbed nobody, anyway what am I supposed to have stolen?".
Jess looked him firmly in the eye. "A brooch".
Ward looked like he'd been shot, his face went white. "No it wasn't me, you can't prove anything".
Jess found it hard to restrain himself but he knew that his only chance of getting out of here with his skin in tact was to keep the game going.
"We're leaving now Ma'am. If he's innocent he'll soon be back". He turned to face the crowd of men that had gathered, they were blocking the path back to his horse. He stared straight into them and he felt a wave of fury inside that he could hardly control. "Get outta my way".
Something in his voice told the men to move and the crowd backed off. Only four men didn't move and Jess knew these were the men he was after.
Harriette Trask moved forward. "Let them through boys", she said. Turning to Ward she smiled, "Don't worry Ben. We'll get you the best lawyers money can buy".
"Someone get him a horse", said Jess and in a few minutes one was brought. "Mount up Ward and no funny business". Ward did as he was told, cold fear ran down his back and he looked across to Craig. "Help me Craig", he pleaded.
"You heard Ma", replied Craig. " Everything will be ok. You have my word on that too".
"Let's go" said Jess. They turned the horses and rode out of the ranch gates. Craig Trask watched them go. He motioned to three other men and they followed him to the stable.
"We'd better get after them, I don't want Ben spilling his guts all over the place about what happened".
One of the men looked at Craig. "This is gettin outta control Craig. I don't want any more to do with this".
Craig grabbed the man by the throat. "Listen Grisham you're in this as far as the rest of us. You were happy to have your fun with that woman now you don't run away. Is that clear to all of you. We are in this together. Hell, the four of us can take care of that cowboy".
Another of the men spoke. "Listen Craig I don't want any part of killing a U S Marshall".
"He ain't no Marshall. He's that saddle tramp I robbed the other day. I don't know what his stake is in this but he sure ain't a U S Marshall. Now saddle up and lets go get Ward".
Out on the trail Ward kept on telling Jess how he had got it all wrong. Jess wasn't listening, nor did he reply. Suddenly he told Ward to take a turn off the trail. "Where we going?" asked Ward, his voice shaking.
"Just move", was Jess' terse reply.
Once out of sight of the trail Jess stopped and told Ward to dismount. Ward looked scared. "What's going on Marshall?"
"I'm not a Marshall and I'm gonna kill you".
"Why, what did I do to you?"
Jess hit Ward as hard as he could and Ward fell to the ground. Jess dragged him up to his feet and snarled right into his face, "Tell me how Trask got the brooch". He didn't wait for a reply he just hit Ward again but this time he stopped Ward from falling and pinned him against a tree. "You got just one chance to tell me or you die right now". Then he hit Ward again and Ward collapsed his face covered in blood. Jess walked across to his horse and took the rope off his saddle. He threw one end over the branch of the tree and tied the other end around a lower branch. He walked over to Ward and pulled him up, Ward tried to resist but again Jess hit him. "You ready to talk?". Ward nodded and Jess threw him to the floor.
Ward started to speak but it was difficult because his breath was gone and his mouth hurt. "We was deliverin some cattle to Laramie and was due to head home, when Craig said he'd heard about this good lookin gal that had just got married and was livin just outside of Laramie. We'd had a bit to drink and decided to have some fun. It was only meant to be fun". He stopped for breath and spat some blood out of his mouth. Jess tried to hold his patience but deep inside he knew what was coming. Without being told he knew what had happened to Annie and how she died. He let Ward carry on.
"We found her house and she was alone. She said her husband had gone to a friend's house and would be back soon. She looked scared but it was only meant to be a bit of fun. Graig started pushin his luck with her and tried to kiss her, she kept pushin him off but he wouldn't give up. We was all too drunk to see what we were doin was wrong. All of a suden like she slaps Graig and he just went wild. I never seen anything like it. He hit her and started tearin at her cloths. She screamed but he wouldn't stop, he just kept goin then.......then he raped her".
Jess sat on the rock listening. Inside he was numb and tears trickled down his cheeks.
"Go on", he said.
"When he finished she just lay on the floor shivering. He picked up her dress and there was the brooch on it. He took it off and threw her dress at her. She tried to stand and he looked at her and said, no witnesses. Then he stabbed her. We grabbed him and dragged him outta there. Then we burned the place so as to get rid of the evidence. That's it, that's how he got the brooch".
"Who were the other men?"
" There was Craig, Grisham and Harley".
Jess choked back his tears and studied Ward. "You didn't try to help her did you".
"No, none of us did, but we were drunk and there's no stoppin Craig when he gets like that".
"You should have helped her".
Jess rode back towards the Trask ranch alone. He left Ward hanging from the tree.
Luckily Jess saw the riders before they saw him. He recognised Trask and the others as the men who had blocked the path to his horse back at the Trask ranch. He hid in the bushes and waited for them to come. Once in easy range Jess opened fire with his rifle and his aim was accurate. He hit Harley first and knocked him off his horse. Then he hit Grisham. There was confusion amongst the men as they tried to see who was shooting at them. "Take cover" yelled Trask, but it was no good. Jess felled them all one by one with fast accurate shooting. But he didn't kill any of them. He walked down to the trail to where the men lay. All of them were hurt but none were unconscious. He took their guns and threw them away.
"Get up all of you".
"We're hurt", said Grisham.
Jess kicked him in the stomach. "I didn't tell you to speak. Now get up hurt or not".
All of the men got to their feet and Jess motioned them to group together at the side of the trail where they stood each holding a shoulder or arm wound. Jess walked over to Craig. He pushed him.
"What are you doin?" yelled Craig. Jess pushed him again, and again until he fell over.
"Get up Trask", snarled Jess.
"No, you can't make me", whimpered Craig Trask.
Jess dragged him up. "Oh yes I can. Then he hit him full in the mouth.
"You're crazy", cried Craig. Jess pulled him up again and hit him again.
"How does it feel Trask?" Jess screamed. "Go on ask your gutless friends to help you", and again he hit Trask. Nobody said a word and nobody moved forward to help him. By now Trask was out cold but Jess couldn't stop, he felt fury like he'd never experienced and he just kept hitting Trask. His hands hurt but still he kept going, he could not stop, and when he did stop Craig Trask was dead. When it was all over Jess could hardly breath, he was exhausted. His eyes were full of tears but no sound came from him. He looked at Trask's body and then he spoke, he voice gasping for air. "Get up Trask I haven't finished with you".
Grisham moved forward. "For pity's sake Mr can't you see he's dead".
Jess turned his attention to the three men.
Grisham stared at Jess, there was fear in his eyes. "Who are you?" he asked.
"That girl you murdered in Laramie. She was twenty three years old". The men were silent. "I was her husband".
Jess rode back to the Trask ranch with four horses and four bodies tied across them. He had hung the the other three men. Their pleas for mercy rang in his ears but Jess was a man with no mercy left. He figured they got off lightly, their deaths were quick. Harriette Trask was summoned by one of her men as Jess rode up and she came to see what was happening. She recognised her son's horse and ran out to find out what had happened to him. Jess dismounted and walked over to her as she looked in disbelief at her son's body.
"What have you done?" she asked.
They spoke for some time and Jess told her what had happened and why. When he had finished he turned towards his horse and saw that there were a group of men with their guns out, waiting for him.
Henriette Trask spoke. "Let him go". She followed Jess to his horse. "I am sorry Mr Harper for what my son did. I always knew it would end this way for him and for that I am letting you go. But if I ever see you again Mr Harper I will have you killed". Jess looked at this strong woman and watched her as she walked to the horse over which her son was draped. Jess mounted up and headed out. He stopped at the gate and told the cowboy there where he would find Ward's body, then he left.
It took him about thirty minutes to get back to Marlow. He had one more thing to do. He entered the Palace saloon for the last time and saw Maddie talking to a bunch of cowboys. He walked over to her and said "I need to talk to you". The cowboys objected but she calmed them saying she would be back. Jess sat with Maddie, this time he didn't have a drink. She saw his bloodstained gloves and knew that something terrible had happened. He told her what he had done and why and she looked sadly at him knowing that for Craig Trask this was the way it was always going to be. It was only a matter of who and when.
She unpinned the brooch and offered it to Jess. "This is what you came for isn't it?"
"Yes", said Jess taking it. He looked at it awhile and once again felt overwhelming sadness, but this time no guilt. He thanked Maddie and got up to leave, only to see the sheriff standing at the saloon doors, rifle pointing.
"It's alright Pat", said Maddie, "He's leaving for good this time".
Jess walked past the sheriff and got onto his horse.
He had felt what it was like to go to hell and back, to live between pain and fury, and now he was going home.
Chapter Six : The Homecoming
When Jess finally arrived back at the Sherman ranch it was just before dawn. He had been riding most of the night, all he wanted was to see his friends and visit Annie's grave. The grave was to be his first stop. He stood silent, looking at the marker, reading the words. Then he spoke quietly. "You can rest now. I know what happened, I know what they did to you. None of this was your fault or my fault, it was their fault and each and every one of them has paid. I am truly sorry I didn't come back, but I know you don't blame me for that. I've done all I can now to settle things". His voice started to shake and his eyes filled with tears. "I don't know if I can live with this but I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try for both of us. I'll be here always, and I'll visit you every day I can. I'll always love you and I'll never forget you, I promise you that with all my heart". He stopped talking and sniffed back the tears. He heard Mike's voice down at the ranch house yelling to Slim and Daisy to tell them "It's Jess, he's back". He saw Slim and Daisy run out of the house and he saw Slim grab Mike as Mike started to run towards him. He could rely on Slim to do the right thing and he imagined what Slim had said to young Mike, "Hold on Tiger, give Jess a minute, he'll be down shortly". He wanted to run down the hill to see them but he turned once more and read the words on the grave marker.
"Annie Harper. Beloved wife of Jess Harper. Lost to him too soon but forever loved"
Then he turned and walked down the hill. It was good to be home.