TO HELL AND BACK  

By Rachel Zander

& Moira Purnell  

aPart Twob 

CHAPTER 9  

Andy looked up at Slim, resentment in his eyes. “Now, look what you’ve gone and done,” he yelled, throwing himself at his brother and pummelling him with his fists. 

Slim roughly grabbed his wrists and held Andy’s arms away from himself. “ANDY! Stop it right now,” he reprimanded, trying to control the writhing young man. 

Tears freely flowing down his face, Andy angrily pulled away from Slim and kicked the porch railing, turning his back to his brother. Slim looked at Maggie and nodded his head toward the door. She gently squeezed his arm and followed Daisy into the living room, closing the door behind her and leaving the two brothers to themselves. 

Slim gently reached out to touch his younger sibling’s shaking shoulder. “Andy, let’s talk about this,” he said softly. 

“There’s nothing to talk about. You pushed him right out of your life and you don’t even care,” replied Andy, his tone flat, without emotion. 

“That’s not true and you know it. Maggie’s right, Jess is a grown man and he has a right to make his own decisions. If he has decided to leave, that’s his choice. Nothing that I can say will change that – you should know that by now, Andy,” said Slim, trying to placate the angry young man. 

“You just don’t get it, do you? He’s your best friend, Slim. He’s been in your life for far longer than that, that woman in there! You can’t even seem to think for yourself whenever she’s around. Can’t you see what’s going on here?” He turned and pointed at Slim’s chest. “There was a time when you would have done anything to make sure Jess stayed here! You said yourself that this is his home! How can you just take that away from him now?” 

Slim reached over and draped his arm across Andy’s shoulders, leading him toward Jess’ rocking chair. Andy stopped abruptly and looked at the empty chair, deep sadness etched on his young features. “How could you let her do this to him, Slim, and when something’s so obviously wrong with him,” he asked softly, remembering the great evenings that the three of them had spent sitting on the porch, jawing about everything and nothing and enjoying each other’s company in the evening shadows. 

“Andy,” Slim started, stopping as Andy pulled away and again turned his back to him. 

“I’m going with him, Slim,” he said very quietly. “And there’s nothing that you can say to stop me.” He turned and looked at Slim, his expression grave. 

“Andy, I appreciate what you’re feeling, but if Jess wanted you to go with him, I’m sure he would have said something,” said Maggie, stepping onto the porch and handing a steaming coffee mug to Slim. 

Andy looked up at her, rage flashing in his eyes. “YOU! This is all your fault. Slim was never like this before he met you,” he yelled, furious at her control over his brother. 

“Andy! That’s enough,” rebuked Slim, wrapping his arm around Maggie’s shoulders. 

She looked up at him and smiled warmly. “It’s okay, Slim. Andy is just angry that his friend has gone away without so much as a goodbye. What more could you expect from someone like Jess,” she asked sweetly, smiling at Andy. 

Andy rushed at her, pinning her against the wall. Slim threw down his coffee mug and jumped up and grabbed Andy’s shoulders, pulling him away from Maggie and bodily tossing him off the porch. Andy landed with a grunt in the dirt just below the bottom step. He rubbed his elbow and stared at Slim in shock. 

“Are you alright, Maggie,” asked Slim gently, pulling her into a close embrace. 

She closed her eyes and sighed softly. “I think so, Darling. But I think you should take me home now.” 

As Slim helped her off the porch, he scowled and looked down at Andy who still sat in the dirt. “You; don’t go anywhere until I get back. We need to have a serious talk.” He spoke harshly, leaving no room for argument. 

Andy slowly stood up and dusted himself off. He looked at his brother, sadness in his eyes. “Alright Slim. I’ll stay until you get back. But I’m not promising anything more than that,” he said softly as he stepped onto the porch and into the house, quietly closing the door behind himself. 

As Slim helped Maggie into the carriage, she smiled at him when he sat next to her. She wrapped her hands around his arm and leaned against his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Slim. It seems that I am causing quite a stir with your family tonight.” She looked up at him, a tear coursing down her cheek. “That was never my intention. I hate to see you angry at your brother.”  

Slim urged the horses on and wrapped an arm around her, reaching up to wipe the single tear from her cheek. He smiled at her. “It’s not your fault,” he said gently. “This is so new for them that they just don’t know how to take it. Andy will be fine; I’ll have a talk with him after I get back from taking you home. He’s just sore on account of Jess leaving the way he did.” 

She sighed and cuddled into his embrace, fighting the evening chill. “I’m sorry that your friend left that way,” she said, watching his reaction in the pale moonlight. 

He frowned slightly, his expression sombre. “So am I. That’s so unlike Jess,” he said thoughtfully. “But he’ll be back. He always comes back; this is his home.  As much as he tries to get away, this is where he belongs. He’s just too stubborn to admit it to himself.” 

She abruptly pulled away at his words. “What do you mean, Slim? You honestly think that after all that, he’s just going to come back as if nothing has happened,” she asked, trying to hide the resentment in her voice. 

Slim slowed the horses and brought the carriage to halt. Placing the reins on his lap, he turned to look at her closely. “What’s the matter, Maggie? Don’t you want Jess to come back?” 

“Well, of course I do, if that’s what you really want. But you said that he thought of it as his home. I just don’t understand how he can expect things to stay the same once we get married, Slim. There’s simply no place for him,” she said calmly, hoping not to rile him any further. 

Slim sat back and took a few deep breaths. When he looked at her, his eyes were sad. “I know, and I think Jess realizes it too. That’s probably why he left so quickly. He never really was one for drawn-out goodbyes,” he smiled weakly. 

“Come on, Slim. I’d like to get home now. Can we talk about this later, Darling?” She flashed him one of her winning smiles and he smiled back, slapping the reins against the horses’ flanks. 

As Maggie cuddled ever closer to Slim, she smiled as she remembered Jess riding out of the drive and out of their lives once and for all.

CHAPTER 10  

The house was dark when Slim finally pulled into the yard. He unhitched the horses and walked them to the barn then slowly made his way back to the house. He had stayed at Maggie’s much longer than he had planned and though he assumed that Andy would not wait up for him, he was hoping that he had. The drive home had given him time to think and he desperately needed to speak with Andy. 

As he opened the door and stepped inside, careful to be extra quiet, expecting everyone to be in bed, he was startled to see Daisy sitting in Jess’ rocker next to the fireplace, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders. She looked up at him, her expression grave. 

“If you’re looking for Andy, he went to bed about an hour ago,” she said softly, bowing her head as though the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. Looking up at Slim, she continued, “He waited up for you.” 

Slim took off his hat and hung it on the peg next to the door then he took a seat on the couch across from Daisy. “I’m sorry, Daisy,” he said, hanging his head and reaching for her hand. 

“I’m not the one you need to be apologizing to, Slim. I really don’t understand what has happened here and I promised myself that I would not get involved in this. It is, after all, your decision and, although you have accepted me as part of your family, I did not want to get involved,” she said gravely. 

He looked at her, deep concern on his face. “But Daisy, you are a very important part of my family. I want you to be involved in whatever happens to me.” 

“Please don’t interrupt me, Slim,” she admonished gently. “When you started to show an interest in Maggie, I watched you and I was pleased for you. I have always prayed that you and Jess would one day settle down with wives and find the same kind of happiness in marriage that I was blessed with and enjoyed for many years. But then, you started to change and I don’t think that you realize how much Maggie has affected you.” 

“I know, Daisy. She’s a very special young woman. She always seems to know just what I am thinking,” said Slim tenderly. 

“That’s not entirely what I mean,” said Daisy, watching his face in the pale glow of the fireplace. “The way that you have been treating those dearest to you has changed, and not for the best I am saddened to say.” 

He looked at her, ready to protest but she held up her hand and continued calmly, “You never spend any time with Mike anymore and the way you have been treating Jess…” she cringed at the thought. “Slim, you may have just lost your best friend, the most important person in your life.” She looked at Slim, her eyes pleading with him. 

“That’s where you’re wrong, Daisy. Yes, Jess is my best friend and he does mean a lot to me – but Maggie is going to be my wife, a part of me. She’s closer to me than anyone will ever be and Jess has to understand that. He’ll be back, Daisy, he always comes back.” 

“My dear Slim, I don’t think that he will be this time. I spoke with Andy while you were gone this evening and he is very concerned about Jess. I must say that I am, too.” Daisy looked at him with tears in her kind blue eyes. 

Both looked up as Mike’s bedroom door creaked open and Andy stepped out, clad in his traveling clothes and holding a small bag. He cringed when he saw Slim. 

“Where do you think you’re going,” asked Slim, eyeing Andy’s gear. 

“I already told you. Jess needs someone right now and you’re obviously not going to do anything about it so I will. I’m gonna find him and bring him back,” he said, pausing. “If he’ll come back,” he finished quietly. 

“And what if he doesn’t?” 

Andy looked up in earnest. “Then I’ll stay with him wherever he decides to go.” 

Slim stood up and grabbed his brother’s shoulder, forcing him to turn around. “Andy, you can’t throw everything away like this. What about school? If you follow Jess, you’ll be no better than he is – a drifter. You’ll be throwing away your life.”  Slim was pleading with his younger sibling. 

Andy looked up and anger flashed in his eyes. “Well, that seems to run in this family,” he retorted. “You’ve taught me well, Slim. I’ve learned all about throwing things away – friendship, compassion, concern.” He glared at Slim and pulled away from his grasp. “Don’t think you can stop me. I’m more determined to go now than I was before.” He walked over to Daisy and gently kissed her tear-stained cheek and hugged her. “Say goodbye to Mike for me,” he whispered as he very pointedly stepped right past Slim and walked out the door.   

Daisy wept softly as Slim stared after his brother, stunned that he was actually leaving. From the first time he had ever laid eyes on Jess, Slim had long ago gotten over his fears of the day that his younger brother would pack up and follow the young drifter. He had never imagined that after so many years, it would come to this 

Stepping onto the porch, he watched as Andy finished saddling a horse then climbed up and rode quietly past the corral. “What about the wedding, Andy? Who’s going to be my best man,” he called, desperate. 

Andy slowed his horse and looked over his shoulder. “To hell with the wedding, Slim!” He kicked his horse’s flanks and took off at a full gallop, the same way that Jess had done only hours earlier.

 

CHAPTER 11  

Jess looked back over his shoulder as he watched the brightly lit little ranch house slowly vanish from his view. He had almost expected someone to ride out and stop him, if not Slim then Andy for sure. But as he rounded the bend and found himself in almost complete darkness, he realized just how much he was truly leaving behind and his heart broke. 

He stared out at the endless stretch of space in front of him and a deep feeling of loneliness overwhelmed him. He pushed back his hat on his head and looked up at the bright moon in the cloudless sky; the dismal memories of years of traveling with only his horse and the moonlight for company came flooding back and he did not look forward to living that way again. Traveler neighed softly and slowed his pace, as though sensing his rider’s hesitation. 

“Come on, Fella. That’s not home anymore. Gotta keep going,” he said quietly, urging the horse to pick up the pace. 

Reaching the old Laramie road, he smiled sorrowfully and patted Traveler’s flank as the horse instinctively turned to follow the familiar path. “Not that way this time,” he said, coughing deeply as his breath caught in the cool evening air. 

He steered his horse onto the rocky terrain along the roadside, hoping to hide his trail as much as possible. If Slim was not going to come after him, he could not be so sure about Andy and he was determined to prevent the young man from finding his trail and following him. More than anything, he wanted to rid himself of any attachment to the Sherman Ranch and Relay Station as quickly and painlessly as he could and the last thing he needed was Andy tagging along with him. He did not have it in him to ruin the young man’s chance at a good education and a solid future. 

He continued in the darkness until well into the early morning hours and he did not realize that he had fallen asleep until he awoke to find that Traveler was no longer moving. ‘Some habits die hard,’ he thought as he sat up in the saddle and stretched his aching back. One of the skills that he had picked up after so many years on the drift was the ability to sleep while in the saddle without falling off. Apparently, although he now much preferred to sleep in a bed if given the chance, he had not lost that skill. 

“Okay Fella, we’ll stop for a while,” he said as he gingerly jumped down from the saddle, taking one of the full saddlebags with him. 

As he spread his bedroll on the rocky ground, he slowly sat down and pulled out his canteen, and savoured a sip of the cool water. That was one thing that he knew he would miss; Slim had some of the best water in the area and Jess had always marvelled at just how sweet water could taste. He coughed violently as he took another sip and choked on the liquid. 

Leaning back, he stretched out and pulled his hat down over his eyes. It would still be a few hours before dawn and he really needed the rest. His body was stiff and he ached all over from the hard work that he had been doing and he knew from experience that it was never a good idea to start out on the trail so exhausted. He also knew he had no choice and he cursed himself for taking ill at such a bad time.  Crossing his arms over his chest, he drifted into a fitful sleep. 

*****  

“Jess!” Andy called out loudly, hoping to find some sign of his friend’s trail. He knew that Jess was perhaps one of the most adept at covering his tracks when he didn’t want to be followed and Andy now cursed his decision to wait for Slim to get home instead of following Jess directly. 

As he leaned over his horse and squinted at the ground in the dim moonlight, he smiled when he finally found what he had been looking for. ‘You’re good, Jess, but remember that you’re the one who taught me how to track in the first place. Good thing you were such a great teacher,’ he thought as he guided his horse onto the rocky path that Jess had followed earlier. 

It took him nearly three hours to find Jess’ makeshift campsite. Hopping down from his saddle, he quietly approached, first noticing Traveler tied to a small sapling and munching on some grass then the dark lump curled up next to a large boulder. 

‘Oh, Jess,’ he thought as he rushed to the still figure. Jess abruptly sat up and leaned forward, his gun drawn and pointed directly at Andy’s chest. Andy stopped, dead in his tracks, and stared at Jess, shocked at the instinctive reaction despite Jess’ pale countenance and glazed eyes. 

“Oh, Andy! You startled me,” said Jess as he thumbed the hammer back to its rightful position and shoved his gun into the holster. He sat up straighter, taking off his hat and wiping his sleeve across his face. He ran a hand through his hair then placed his hat back on his head. “What are you doing here,” he asked, irritated. 

“I needed to talk to you, Jess,” replied Andy, walking closer to his ailing friend. 

Jess frowned and shook his head, pushing himself up against the boulder and standing. “How did you find me anyway?” 

Andy smiled and looked at him. “I know how to track, Jess. I learned from the best.” 

Jess slumped against the boulder and shook his head. “And I guess now you’re gonna tell me you want to follow me. Is that right,” he asked without smiling. 

“But Jess, I thought you’d be happy to have someone with you,” said Andy, the hurt clearly evident on his face. 

‘Andy, you have no idea how much I want you to stay but I can’t ask that of you. Don’t you understand? I can’t do this to you – I’ve already ruined my own life. I can’t ruin yours too – I’d never forgive myself,’ he thought miserably. But he couldn’t tell Andy how he truly felt. “Andy, I don’t want you here. Go home – Slim needs you right now. I couldn’t get through to him but maybe you can,” he said, pleading for Andy to understand. 

“No, Jess.  You’re not getting rid of me that easily. You should just see yourself; you look awful.” Andy frowned in concern and reached for his friend. 

“Sure know how to make a guy feel great about himself. Must have learned that from Slim,” said Jess sardonically, instantly regretting his choice of words when he saw Andy flinch. 

Andy stepped closer and reached out to touch his shoulder. Jess stepped back and violently pushed the young man away. Stunned, Andy stared at Jess, waiting for an explanation. 

“But Jess-” 

“Andy! Get away from me! I don’t want you here. Don’t you get it?  I don’t want you with me! Go home and leave me alone!” Jess seemed exhausted by the outburst but he stood his ground. 

“No,” said Andy, again stepping closer. 

“Andy, get out of here or so help me I’ll-” started Jess, anger flashing in his blue eyes. 

“You’ll what, Jess,” asked Andy, glaring at him. 

Jess lunged at Andy and threw a punch, but in his weakened state, the effect was less than he could have hoped for. Andy neatly sidestepped him and pushed him away. Undeterred, Jess again ran at him full force but Andy, being younger and healthier, stepped directly in front of Jess and pushed him away. As Jess fought to keep his balance, Andy reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders, throwing him up against a tree. Forgetting how much bigger he was now than when he used to wrestle playfully with Jess, he smashed the man up against the trunk with much more force than he intended. 

Jess gasped as his back hit the hard wood and the wind was knocked from him. He collapsed against the tree and Andy abruptly let go of him, stunned at what he had just done. Without any support, Jess pitched forward and fell into Andy’s arms, unconscious. 

“Jess!”

‘What have I done?’ thought Andy as he cradled the feverish man in his arms and watched the sunrise on the horizon. ‘And it would have to be the start of another beautiful day, too,’ he thought miserably as he softly pushed the dark hair off his friend’s forehead and waited for the dawn. 

 

CHAPTER 12  

“Slim! Darling, where are you,” called Maggie, as she stepped into the quiet little house. She removed her shawl and walked into the kitchen, looking for the missing occupants. 

“Good morning, Daisy,” she said brightly when she noticed the elderly woman in the midst of breakfast preparations. 

Daisy looked up and smiled slightly as she watched Maggie traipse through the house as though she owned it. “Good morning, Maggie. Are you here to see Slim?” 

Maggie just rolled her eyes at Daisy as if to say ‘well, isn’t that obvious?’ as she primped herself and paced across the small room.  She smiled widely as Slim’s bedroom door opened and he ambled out, clad in his undershirt and work pants, stretching with a yawn as he tried to wake up. 

“Slim! Did you only just get up,” she asked, surprised at his dishevelled appearance. 

He seemed stunned to see her step into the living room and he quickly ran his hands through his tousled hair, offering her a lopsided grin. 

“Well, I was up quite late last night visiting a very lovely young lady,” he said. 

She frowned at him slightly. “Oh, and who might that lovely young lady be, Slim Sherman,” she teased, slowly walking toward him. 

He bent over and kissed her, pulling her close. She let out a squeal and pulled away with a grimace on her face and put her hands on her hips. 

“Slim! You haven’t shaved this morning and you are chafing me,” she complained, running a delicate hand along her reddened cheek. Slim seemed taken aback by her rebuke then he smiled at her playfully. 

“Well, you’re going to have to get used to it, Miss Maggie. I’ve yet to figure out a way of getting out of bed clean-shaven,” he said, winking at her. She rolled her eyes in disgust and waved a hand at him, walking over to perch herself in Jess’ rocker. 

Slim hurried into the bedroom and came out only minutes later, clean-shaven and wearing a fresh shirt and a clean pair of pants. He frowned slightly as he looked at the dark-haired beauty that sat waiting for him. 

“Is something the matter, Slim,” she asked, her tone concerned as she rose to meet him. 

He shook his head and walked toward the kitchen where Daisy was busily preparing his breakfast. Maggie followed closely behind him, a frown of concern marking her features. She looked around the room, as though searching for something. 

“Slim, where is Mike?” 

Slim simply shrugged and pointed to the little boy’s bedroom. “He must still be asleep,” he said quietly. 

“Mike decided to go to school today,” said Daisy. She nodded as Slim shot her a curious look. “Yes, I know that you said he could take the week off but he felt there was no reason for him to stay home now that Jess is gone. He also said that he missed his friends.” She turned away from his inquisitive gaze and resumed her preparations. 

Maggie nodded in understanding then she frowned again. “And what about Andy? I thought that he would certainly be up by now. I presume that he will want to spend as much time with his older brother as he can.” She smiled at Slim. 

Slim glanced at her, a sudden look of intense sadness in his eyes. “He’s gone, Maggie. He left last night after I got back from taking you home.” 

Maggie swallowed a few times and sat down at the table, staring at Slim as he leaned against the wall and watched Daisy continue to prepare the morning meal. Maggie could see the tears that were flowing down the elderly woman’s face and she felt a tinge of exasperation. It seemed that the old woman was always crying over something. ‘That will have to change when I move in,’ she thought callously. 

“What do you mean ‘he left’ Slim; what happened last night,” she asked, trying to keep her tone gentle. 

Daisy turned to look at the young woman then she scowled at Slim. “Would you like to tell her or would you prefer that I do,” she asked in a harsh tone that Slim had never heard her use before. 

Slim straightened up and walked closer to the table, pulling out a chair and sitting directly across from Maggie. He reached out to hold her hand and she felt a sudden dread, as she feared what he would say. “Andy decided to follow Jess – I don’t know when or even if he will be back. He made it very clear that he has no intention of coming back for the wedding.” He looked up at her, pain etched in his features, any trace of cheerfulness gone as he recalled the events of the previous evening. 

Maggie breathed a sigh of relief and smiled warmly. “Oh, is that all?” she asked. “I thought that you might be having second thoughts about Saturday, Darling.” She continued to smile at him but his expression was stony. 

He looked down at her small hands that he was gripping and sighed loudly. “This is not a small thing for me, Maggie. It just won’t be the same without Jess and Andy there. Jess was to be my best man…who am I going to ask now,” he mused quietly, almost whispering. 

A flash of anger lit Maggie’s eyes and she pulled her hands away from Slim. “Jess again! It’s always him, or don’t you see that? Andy was very excited about our wedding until that saddle tramp came back, looking so pathetic and helpless. Really, Slim! How could you have allowed a man like that to influence your only brother this way?” Her tone was unsympathetic. 

Slim’s head snapped up and he frowned at her. “I can’t believe you feel that way, Maggie.  Jess is my best friend.” He rested his elbows on the table and held his head in his hands. 

“And just how does Jess feel about you? You say he is your best friend yet look what he is doing to you and to this family. He has done everything in his power to upset you. It was his choice to leave before the wedding, and from what you’ve told me, he must have done so knowing full well that Andy was very likely to follow him.” 

“Andy would follow Jess to the ends of the earth, to hell and back if necessary,” said Slim softly. 

Maggie realized that her approach was not going to break him out of his melancholy. She walked over to stand next to him and perched herself on the table, leaning against him gently. 

“Slim, why don’t we go into town this morning? You said that Daisy needed some supplies and you can help me choose the fabric for the new curtains for the bedroom.” She smiled at him and arched an eyebrow. “That is, unless you prefer to spend the day brooding over your friend and brother,” she continued, almost daring him to not follow her. 

Slim rose to the taunt and stood up slowly, placing his hands around her waist and moving her away from the table so that he could stand. “Fine, it might help take my mind off what’s happened. It will also give me a chance to meet the new stage official who just transferred from Cheyenne.” He turned away from Maggie before he could see the anxious look on her face. 

“Slim, darling? Do you really have to take care of that today? I thought it would be nice to spend the day together.” She moved close to him and threw her arms around his neck. 

Daisy just looked on in disgust, feeling nothing but loathing for the woman who had completely enraptured Slim. She almost cheered when Slim pulled Maggie’s hands away from his neck and held her at arm’s length, looking into her eyes. 

“You know that I have business to take care of. That’s how I plan on supporting you so you should try to get used to it. Without Jess around, I’m going to be a lot busier,” he said, cringing at the thought of trying to get everything done on his own from now on. 

She twisted her wrists out of his grasp and stepped away from him, sulking and refusing to meet his gaze. “Alright, Slim. If that is how it must be. But please don’t take all day like last time.” 

To Daisy, she sounded like a spoiled child who had just been told that she could not have her way with him. 

Slim inched closer to Daisy and gently took her arm, as though afraid of harming her. She smiled long-sufferingly and patted his arm. “I’ll be fine, Slim. Why don’t you and Maggie go into town together? I have so much to do around here…just think of everything that must be done before the wedding!” she said, trying to sound cheerful but Slim could see the strain in her soft blue eyes. 

“No, Daisy. I’d like you to come with me.” As she hesitated, he looked intently into her eyes. “Please,” he implored. 

With that, she removed the boiling kettle from the stove and placed it on the counter then untied her apron and smiled. “Okay, Slim. I’ll come with you. I just need a moment to get my things and I will meet you outside.” She rushed into her bedroom to prepare herself for the short trip into town. 

“Why did you insist on Daisy coming with us, Slim?”  Maggie followed him into the living room watched him strap on his gun belt and put on his hat. 

“You wouldn’t understand,” he said, placing her shawl over her shoulders and guiding her through the front door.  “Wait here while I get the buckboard ready.” He stepped away from her in the direction of the barn, ignoring the puzzled expression on her face. 

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