TO HELL AND BACK

 

By Rachel Zander

& Moira Purnell

aPart Oneb 

CHAPTER 4  

“Where’s Jess,” asked Mike as he dried his hands on a small towel and sat down at the table. 

Slim placed the small roast and a plate of fresh biscuits on the table and Daisy poured Mike a glass of milk as they sat down for supper. 

Slim looked up and seemed surprised to notice that Jess’ chair was empty. In fact, he had not seen Jess since shortly after the afternoon stage had gone through. 

“I don’t know, Mike. But you know Jess – he’s never one to miss a meal, especially when Daisy has prepared such a tasty roast,” he said as he cut into the meat and closed his eyes in contentment as the heavenly aroma reached his nose. 

“Shouldn’t we perhaps wait for him,” asked Daisy, frowning as she listened for the familiar sound of Jess’ footfall. 

Slim shook his head and smiled, “Don’t worry, Daisy. He’s probably just out there, too busy to remember what time it is, or too stubborn to give up on something to get here in time for supper.” He cut a slice of meat and placed it on Mike’s plate. As he lifted another slice and held it up between his knife and fork for Daisy, she simply shook her head at him and held up her hand. 

“My, my. I don’t know what’s going on around here but everyone seems to be losing their appetites,” said Slim, a wide grin on his face. “I appreciate you trying to help me save up for the wedding expenses but you don’t have to stop eating for that,” he chuckled. 

“Aunt Daisy?” 

She looked up from her plate and said, “Yes Mike?” 

“Is something wrong with Jess,” he asked quietly. 

“Why do you say that, Mike,” interrupted Slim. He cut another piece of roast and waited for the little boy to continue. When there was no answer, he rested his wrists against the edge of the table and looked at Mike. “Why do you think something is wrong with Jess?” 

Daisy bit her bottom lip as Mike looked up at Slim, deep concern on his face. “I don’t know,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just that he’s been real quiet lately and he didn’t eat much at breakfast, then he wasn’t here for lunch, and now he’s missing his supper, too. So something must be wrong.” 

“Hmm, you may have a point,” said Slim, looking at Daisy and trying to read her expression. “What is it, Daisy? Do you know something you’re not telling me?” 

She looked at him and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, her expression was blank. “He didn’t seem to be feeling very well today. When he walked home at noon, he was very pale.” 

“It was a hot day, though Daisy. And Jess did have to walk a fair distance. He told me he was just tired,” said Slim, trying to relieve the growing tension in the room. 

“I think that he got hurt when…” she stopped, not wanting to tell Slim how Jess had reacted that afternoon. 

“What do you mean, hurt? Daisy, how did he get hurt?” Slim put his knife and fork down on the table and pushed his chair back. 

“He needed to go into the hayloft to get some tools and the floor gave way with him on it. He fell, along with most of the tools that were up there with him,” she said quietly. 

Mike sniggered in his chair and Slim shot him a dirty look. “This isn’t funny, Mike,” he scolded. 

“Did he get hurt, Daisy,” asked Slim gently, finally showing some concern for his friend. 

She shook her head slowly. “No, I think he was more angry than hurt. He said that you told him that you had fixed that section of floor.” She looked up at him, her eyes accusing. 

Slim looked down in shame, refusing to meet her disapproving stare. “I started to do it the other day but when Maggie stopped by, I guess I got distracted and just never got back to it.” He stood up and pushed his chair under the table, his supper forgotten. “I better go find him. Something’s wrong with him and I think I may know what it is.” 

Daisy stood up and rushed to his side. “Please try to be understanding with him. He may not be up to talking to you,” she said softly as she tried to convey to him how concerned she was over Jess. She had watched Jess move much of his gear from his room to the bunkhouse shortly after Maggie had gone home that afternoon. When she had tried to ask him about it, he had stonewalled her, telling her not to worry about it. 

“I’ll try to be, Daisy. But he has to realize that some things are just more important than fixing a hayloft floor. He should know that by now,” he said, mildly irritated. 

***** 

As Slim stepped onto the porch, he picked up one of the lanterns and looked around the yard, hoping to catch a glimpse of his missing friend. Seeing a faint light in the bunkhouse, he walked toward the small building and opened the door. 

“Jess,” he called out into the darkness, holding up the lantern and looking around the small space for his partner. 

“Over here,” came a quiet voice from the bottom bunk in the far corner of the room. 

Slim walked over and pulled up a chair next to the bed on which Jess lay on his back, his hands clasped behind his head. Slim put the lantern down and reached over to feel Jess’ forehead, concerned that he may be ill.  Seeing him approach, Jess pulled away and turned toward the wall, his back to Slim. Surprised at the unusual reaction, Slim pulled back his hand and sat down, waiting for an explanation. 

“Jess, what are you doing out here?” He looked around the room and noticed that most of Jess’ belongings were now piled in a corner and strewn across the floor. “You movin’ out? My snoring can’t be that bad,” said Slim, teasing. He leaned back in his chair and waited. 

“Fine, Slim, since you won’t leave me be, I’ll tell ya why I’m out here.” Jess turned onto his side and propped himself up on an elbow, facing Slim. “You’re going to be plenty busy getting your room ready for Maggie and you.  You’re bringing a new bride home in a week or have you forgotten that? It’s just easier for me to move my gear out here now, then I’ll be out of your way and she can get on with her plans.” 

The sudden outburst ended as quickly as it had started. Jess leaned back and again turned to face the wall. 

Slim stared at the back of Jess’ head, a frown of confusion on his face. “But Jess, you can bunk with Mike. There’s an extra bed in there. You don’t have to move out of the house – it’s your home, too. That’s not going to change just because I’m marrying Maggie.” 

“Yeah, sure,” he said dejectedly, pausing. “Slim, there is an extra bed in Mike’s room and Andy’s gonna be needing it when he comes home tomorrow.” 

“Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that,” said Slim quietly. 

“Yeah, I know. Now can you just leave me alone for a while?” 

“What’s the matter with you Jess? Are you sick,” he asked, trying to hide the irritation in his voice. 

“Nothin’s wrong with me, Slim,” muttered Jess, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes. ‘At least I hope not. I just wish this darned headache would go away…’  

Slim sighed in frustration and stood up, putting his hands on his hips and staring at Jess’ back. “Then, what in blazes are you hiding out here for? Just because you’ve moved your gear out here doesn’t mean you have to spend the whole evening alone. Your supper is still sitting on the table and Daisy’s beside herself with worry over you. Even Mike thinks something’s wrong with you. This isn’t like you, Jess,” he said in exasperation. “I can’t read your mind, what’s bothering you? Do you want to talk about it,” he asked, slightly more gently. 

“Nothin’ to talk about, Slim. It’s been a long day and I’m tired and I just want to be alone right now.” Jess jammed his hands beneath his pillow and clutched it against his cheek, all the while keeping his back to Slim. 

“Don’t try that with me, Jess Harper. I know you too well for you to think you’re gonna get out of this that easily. Come on, what’s bothering you,” he repeated, trying to keep his tone even. 

Jess abruptly rolled onto his back and threw the pillow on the floor, clenching his fists in frustration. “Can’t a man just want some time alone without having to give an explanation,” he asked angrily. 

Slim was stunned at the anger in Jess’ voice and he sat down again, reaching out to place his hand on Jess’ shoulder. Jess pulled away at the familiar gesture and glared at him. 

Slim looked down at his feet. “Look Jess, I know we haven’t really had a chance to talk much lately, what with me spending all my time with Maggie, but if you got a problem we should talk about it.” 

“I’m not the one with the problem,” mumbled Jess under his breath. 

Slim looked up at him, a frown on his face. “What did you say? I didn’t hear you.” 

“Nothin’,” he said again. 

“All right Jess! I’ve just about had enough of this and my patience with you is really starting to wear thin,” scolded Slim in a tone that Jess had almost never heard him use before. “Either you tell me what’s wrong with you right now or I stay here until you do. It’s your choice - I’m not leaving.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. 

Jess sighed loudly as he rolled onto his side and sat up in the small bed, planting his feet firmly on the floor. It was now or never. 

“Why are you marrying Maggie,” he asked bluntly. 

Slim looked at him in stunned silence, not sure if he had heard Jess correctly. “What?” 

“It’s a simple question, Slim. Why are you marrying her,” Jess asked again, his eyes meeting Slim’s. 

Slim smiled. “You know, Jess, of all people, I would have thought that you would appreciate a beautiful woman when you saw one. She’s something else, Pard, and she loves me and I love her. I know that she’s the one that I want to spend my life with.” 

“But you hardly even know her, Slim. How can you be so sure? This is your whole life we’re talking about here. What’s the hurry? Why don’t you just wait a while and get to know her a bit more?” 

Slim’s reaction was not what Jess would have expected. He stood up and kicked his chair back in anger. He glared at Jess. 

“Maggie’s right! You are jealous!” 

Jess jumped up off the bed and stood directly in front of Slim, staring him straight in the face. 

“Jealous! You think I’m jealous,” he asked incredulously, matching Slim’s tone. 

Yeah. Jealous! I shoulda known you’d be this way. Just can’t be happy for me, can you? Well Jess, not all of us want to spend the rest of our lives alone and I’ve finally found someone that I want to spend forever with. And you’re not going to ruin that for me!” 

“But Slim, I’m not jealous,” Jess protested. He paused, trying to calm himself and find the right words to say, wishing the pounding in his head would ease. “I’m just worried about you. You don’t know anything about this girl. Why is she in such a hurry to get married? For all we know, she could have a past that you know nothing about-” Jess’ response was abruptly interrupted as Slim rushed at him and swung a punch that landed squarely on his jaw.  Jess’ head snapped back at the impact and he flew across the room, smashing into the wall next to the bed and hitting his head on the floor hard, knocking him out cold. 

Slim stared at his friend in silence, dumbfounded at what he had just done. Rubbing his sore hand, he rushed to Jess’ side and gently tapped his cheek with the back of his hand, trying to revive him.  Blood seeped from a cut on Jess’ lip and he did not move. 

“I’m so sorry, Jess. How could I…?” Slim mumbled as he carefully lifted the unconscious man into his arms and carried him to the bed. Taking his bandana, he dampened it in the washbasin that Jess had set up next to the bed and carefully swabbed Jess’ swollen lip. 

Within a few minutes, Jess started to stir and he opened his eyes, blinking a few times while he tried to focus. Seeing Slim’s worried face hovering above him, he reached up and pushed the taller man away, then he gingerly sat up on the bed, rubbing his bruised jaw. 

“Well, at least now I know how you really feel,” he said gravely, his tone flat. 

Slim crouched next to the bed where Jess sat and hung his head. “Gosh, I’m sorry Jess. I didn’t mean to,” he looked up at Jess, willing him to shrug it off as he had in the past. 

Jess’ expression was hard as he stared at the man he considered his best and closest friend. 

“Don’t you see what this is doing to you, Slim,” he asked softly, finding it difficult to speak as his split lip continued to throb. 

“Jess, let’s not talk about this right now, okay? Come back to the house and I’ll try to clean you up,” entreated Slim. “You’re bleeding all over your shirt.” 

Jess shook his head. “No Slim. It’s just easier this way. ‘Sides, wouldn’t want to worry Mike and Daisy, would you?” 

Defeated, Slim nodded and stood up, smiling dolefully as he looked at Jess. 

“What,” asked Jess, noting the expression on Slim’s face. 

“Sure a good thing there’s still a week before the wedding. Your face is a mess – it’s gonna take that long for it to look decent again.” He smiled as Jess frowned. “Wouldn’t want my best man to have a banged up face…might not go over too well with the ladies.” 

Slim walked to the door and turned back to Jess. “I know I’ve got a lousy way of showing it but I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Jess, really, I do. I am going to marry Maggie, with your blessing or not. But I’d feel a lot better if you’d keep trying to make Maggie feel welcome like you’ve been doing. It means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to her. ‘Night Jess,” he said with a smile as he closed the door behind him. 

Jess stood up and walked to the window, watching as Slim made his way back to the house. 

“Yeah, Slim. I know just how much it means to her,” he said softly then he turned back to the bed and rubbed his aching jaw. 

He leaned over and started to pack his belongings into his saddlebags, cursing himself for having collected so many things since living at the ranch. It used to be easy to travel light and packing up usually only took a few minutes. Looking at all of his belongings, he frowned as he picked through them, trying to decide what he was going to leave behind and what he would bring with him on the trail. 

Trying to ignore his gnawing hunger and the growing pain in his head, he sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at his things. As he leaned back on the bed and massaged his jaw, he came to a decision. He would wait until morning before heading out. Everything would look better in the morning and he might even get a chance to say goodbye to Andy when he arrived on the morning stage. 

As he turned onto his side and looked across the room through the small window, he sighed as he watched the lights slowly go out in his home as one by one his family went to bed. He cringed as he thought of them. ‘By this time tomorrow night, that won’t be my home anymore and you won’t have to worry about me spoiling any of your future plans, Slim.’  

With that unpleasant thought, he pulled up the covers and closed his eyes.

CHAPTER 5

“Andy,” called Slim, as he greeted his handsome dark-haired brother. 

Andy stepped down from the stage and smiled as he looked at his small welcoming committee standing in front of the little ranch house. He picked up his bag and rushed over to Slim, throwing his arms around the taller man. 

“Aw, Slim! I sure missed you,” he said, a huge grin on his face. 

Slim hugged him warmly. “I did too, little brother.” He let go of Andy and looked at him. “I hope you don’t mind, Andy, but I’m going to have to help Mose with the team. As you probably already know, shouldn’t take too long.” Andy smiled and nodded his head as he watched his older brother walk over to help Mose. 

He smiled as Mike walked up to him, holding a large toad in his hands and smiling shyly. Andy leaned over and tousled the little boy’s hair and shook his head when he noticed the little creature in his hands. 

“Hi Mike! Who’s your friend,” he asked, pointing at the toad. 

Mike beamed as Andy acknowledged his new pet. “His name’s Wally and he’s gonna be stayin’ for a while.” 

Andy chuckled. “ Kinda like me,” he said happily while he stroked the toad. 

“He’s gonna share my room, I mean, our room,” continued Mike. He leaned forward and winked. “That is, if Aunt Daisy doesn’t find out,” he whispered, happy to have a co-conspirator. 

Andy winked back. “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t,” he said with a chuckle. 

Daisy waited for him to look up again then she rushed to the young man’s side, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. “Welcome home, dear. I baked a special pie just for you,” she said with a twinkle in her eyes. 

Slim finished up with the stage and walked over to Andy and took the bag from his hand. He wrapped his arm around his younger brother’s shoulders and started to lead him toward the house. Andy stopped abruptly and looked around in confusion. 

“What is it, Andy,” Slim stopped to look at him. 

“Where’s Jess?” 

“Oh, he’s around here somewhere. He wanted to make sure the chores were done so we could spend some time together. I can’t wait for you to meet Maggie. Come on, she’s in the house,” said Slim, walking ahead of Andy and joining Mike and Daisy on the front porch. As Daisy and Mike disappeared into the house, a beautiful dark-haired young woman stepped out and smiled at Slim as he reached the doorway. 

Andy still stood there, looking across the yard at a dark shadow in the bunkhouse window. As he squinted to see more clearly, the shadow moved and disappeared. 

“Andy,” called Slim, breaking him out of his reverie. 

Andy looked up at Slim, a frown on his face. “Slim, who’s in the bunkhouse?” 

“Could be Jess. He’s staying in there while you and Maggie are here. Don’t forget how small this place is…Now come on Andy, I want you to meet the future Mrs. Sherman,” he said, rushing to Andy’s side and pulling him toward the house. 

“But Slim-” he started but was abruptly cut off as Maggie reached out and kissed him on the cheek. 

“I’m so pleased to finally meet you, Andy. Slim has told me so much about you,” she cooed, smiling at a beaming Slim. 

Andy blushed and smiled reservedly. “Well, I wouldn’t believe most of what he’s told you.  It’s probably not all true,” he said, teasing. 

Maggie wrapped her arm around his waist and led him into the house, with Slim following closely behind. 

As they stepped into the house, Mike ran up to Andy and grabbed his arm, tugging on his sleeve as he tried to get his attention. 

“Come on, Andy. I wanna show you my room! That’s where you’re gonna stay while you’re here,” he said, trying to pull him away from the adults. 

Andy carefully extricated himself from Maggie’s embrace and smiled at Mike. “Sure Partner. Lead the way; I’m right behind you,” he said as he followed the excited little boy into the small room. 

As the door closed behind Mike and Andy, Maggie sighed and turned to look at Slim. “He is a very handsome young man. You should be proud of him, Slim.” 

“I am. I was a bit worried about him for a while but he’s really turning out well.  School has been good for him. It was hard on him losing his father and his mother at such a young age. I just hope Mike turns out that well,” he said, smiling as he listened to the laughter coming from behind Mike’s bedroom door. 

“I must say, Slim, I expected him to look a little bit more like you, though. You and he are almost complete opposites,” said Maggie, wrapping her hands around his arm and leading him to the couch. 

Slim smiled at her. “I know. We used to get that a lot. And we actually are quite different. It’s funny; he looks a lot like Jess, even more as he gets older. And even his personality is a lot like Jess.” He suddenly frowned and put his head down. 

Noticing his uneasiness, Maggie leaned against him and rubbed his back with her hand. 

“You don’t have to keep talking about him, you know. Every time you mention Jess, you get that sad look in your eyes,” she said, looking at him with a killer smile on her face. “I don’t want you to be sad right now. Let’s talk about something nicer than that.”  She looked up at him and kissed him gently, waiting for him to smile back at her in response. 

Daisy stood and watched quietly from the kitchen, frowning as she witnessed the interchange. 

*****  

“I almost forgot how small this room is,” said Andy with a smile, as he placed his bag next to one of the beds in the small bedroom. He pulled up the curtain and looked out through the window, hoping to see Jess. 

Mike jumped onto his own bed, sitting cross-legged and watching his new roommate. 

“Whatcha lookin’ for,” he asked, noticing how intently Andy was staring through the dusty windowpane. 

Andy turned to look at him and sat down on the small bed, smiling. “Oh, I was just hoping to see Jess. This is the first time I’ve come home and he hasn’t been right there to greet me,” he said, frowning slightly. 

Mike leaned forward, resting his elbows against his knees, and tucked his fists under his chin. “I think somethin’s wrong with him but nobody ever tells me anything around here,” he said, looking at Andy, his face serious. “I don’t understand why he had to move into the bunkhouse – there’s lots’a room in here. And Maggie isn’t living here yet.” 

Andy looked at him and walked over to sit next to him on the bed. He leaned forward and clasped his fingers together. “What do you mean something’s wrong with Jess,” he asked quietly. 

Mike sat up straight and turned his body to face Andy. “I don’t know. He’s just different lately. Kinda quiet-like and he didn’t even come in for supper last night.” 

“Hmmm, that really doesn’t sound like Jess,” mused Andy, recalling how his friend was never one to let anything ruin his appetite. 

“I don’t think he likes Maggie but he hasn’t said anything. ‘Sides, Slim thinks she’s nice. He sure kisses her a lot,” continued Mike, staring intently at Andy. 

“What do you think of Maggie?” 

“Oh, she’s alright I guess. She’s sorta nice to me and she buys me candy when we go into town. She said she’s gonna be my new mother but I’m not too sure about that yet.” 

“But you don’t think Jess likes her,” asked Andy, eyeing the little boy. 

Mike looked down at his hands and shook his head. “Well,” he started, and then paused briefly. “Maybe it’s Maggie who doesn’t like him.  She’s always saying mean things to him, but never when Slim is around.  Jess tries to smile at her but she never smiles at him. And the other night, I tried to say good night to them, Maggie and Jess… when they was on the porch and Jess got real mad and told me to go back into the house. He looked real sad and she wasn’t smiling much either.” 

Andy sat and quietly listened, all the while a frown of concern growing on his face. “And it was the day after that when Jess moved into the bunkhouse?” 

Mike looked up at him and cocked his head to the side. “Yeah, how’d you know?” 

“Oh, just had a feeling. Have you seen Jess today, Mike?” Andy stood up and looked down at the solemn young face. 

Mike shook his head slowly. “Not really. He was up real early this morning and I saw him through the window after he came in to get his coffee. He didn’t even stay in the house long enough to say good morning to Aunt Daisy or me. I heard her telling Slim that Jess never ate breakfast and he didn’t take any food out to the bunkhouse.” 

Andy rubbed his chin thoughtfully and looked at Mike. “I’m going to see if I can find him. You stay here, okay Mike?” 

“Aww, but why can’t I come with you? I want to see Jess, too.” 

“No Mike. I need to talk to him alone, maybe I can find out what’s bothering him. Don’t tell Slim where I’m going, alright Mike?” 

The little boy crossed his arms over his chest and sulked. Andy sat down next to him and put his hand on Mike’s shoulder. 

“Tell you what – if you stay in here for a little while, I’ll go down to the creek with you later on and we can try to find a friend for Wally. How does that sound,” he asked, grinning.  

Mike hopped off the bed and stood looking at him. “Ya mean it,” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Course I mean it.  Hasn’t Slim ever told you about all the little critters I used to keep in here,” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes. 

Mike smiled and nodded his head. “Oh, sure he has.” He paused for a moment then sat down again. “Okay, I’ll stay here. But remember your promise,” he said, smiling. 

Andy tousled Mike’s hair and winked at him. Then, he opened the door and let himself out quietly, tiptoeing across the room to the back door. He lifted a finger to his lips and Daisy nodded as she kept an eye on Slim and Maggie cuddling on the couch. Andy slowly opened the back door and stepped out then Daisy closed it softly behind him. 

She watched him cross the yard in the direction of the bunkhouse. ‘I certainly hope that you can get through to him, Andy. He really needs a friend right now.’     

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