Name : Barbara Taylor

Location : UK

As a child, whilst friends dotted on pop stars and Doctor Kildare’s, I loved all things of the Wild West, cowboys where my heroes and role models. When I was nine, there was just myself and my baby sister Gillian who was two and a half years old. Our parents loved us both and were always a caring part of our lives. With such a big age gap between us, I got to play Mum to my sister quiet often and I loved her dearly. 

One morning she was allowed to sleep in as she had been vomiting the night before. When it got to ten o’clock, Mum sent me up to wake her as it was getting a bit too late. Try as I might, I couldn’t get her to respond and finally shouted my parents. They couldn’t wake her up either. 

That was the last time I ever saw her. She died one week later of an inoperable brain tumour. Working as I do today, I now understand that if she had survived she would have been a vegetable, but then I didn’t. All I knew was there was a big hole in my life, and my parents, lost in their own shock and grief, couldn’t help me deal with mine. 

I turned to my westerns and found Laramie and Jess Harper. I watched and learned as Jess helped Andy and later Mike. I saw how he handled his fears and hurts, and learned it was all right to admit how you felt, just as long as you learnt from it and did good with your life. He became my big brother and role model and helped me deal with my grief. 

Later, as my parents healed and were able to help me, I still followed Laramie. As my adolescent hormones kicked in, Jess moved from big brother to first crush and first love. He found a place deep in my heart and soul from the start, and has remained there throughout my life, a guiding voice and shining example of all that is good and right in life. Though the death of my sister could never be considered a good thing, finding Robert Fuller’s Jess was perhaps one of the momentous turning points in a young life that I could ever be been blessed with. Now, as I nurse my grandchildren on my knee, and try to instill in them the same basic principles of life Laramie gave me, I thank God for it.

Barb (English Rose)

Barbara and Gillian in 1957	Barbara 2004

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